I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
