I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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