She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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