Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
