I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
