Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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