Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
