I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
