I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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