What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
