brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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