Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
