Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
