Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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