I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
