ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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