ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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