Having a random hookup so left but love u
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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