This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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