small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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