Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
