i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
