Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize