I love having hate sex.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
