At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
