dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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