we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
