come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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