then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
