I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I forget how to act sober
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
