you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
