I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
