a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
