I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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