Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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