No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
