I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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