So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
operation harelip BJ is a go
home. puking in laundry basket.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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