Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
