where does the pee come out of this thing
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
