Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
