My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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