What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
