I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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