College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
