My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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