operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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