All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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