I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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