i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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