I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
