It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
