I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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