i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
