Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Non-Jews are for practice
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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