Please, let me fuck your mom
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
