He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
