yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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