I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wish i was in the wii world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
